Jokes

Best Short Jokes & Dirty One-Liners

Best Short Jokes & Dirty One-Liners

Sometimes, humor is all about efficiency and that applies to the best adult jokes as well. If you can make people laugh with only one or two sentences – you can call yourself a truly funny person!

Let’s take a look at our favorite short jokes for adults only:

Funny dirty jokes that are NSFW.

As far as dirty jokes go, we can safely say that size doesn’t matter. *wink wink*

Here are our favorite picks:

1. Weirdly, I’ve been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. It doesn’t cure it, but it keeps the sheets off my legs at night.

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2. What do you call a cheap circumcision?

A rip-off!

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3. Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

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4. Why didn’t Barbie ever get pregnant?

Because Ken always came in another box.

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5. How do you make a pool table laugh?

Tickle its balls.

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6. What do you get when you mix human DNA and goat DNA?

You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

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7. What did Cinderella do when she reached the ball?

She gagged.

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8. Did you know about the hole in the walls of houses in the nudist colony?

The police are looking into it.

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9. What do tofu and a vibrator have in common?

They are both meat substitutes.

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10. Did you hear about the guy who died because he was erect for too long?

They couldn’t close his casket.

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11. What did the guy say when he got caught playing with himself to an optical illusion?

It’s not what it looks like!

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12. What did the banana say to the vibrator?

Why are you shaking? She’s going to eat me!

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13. Why did the white goo cross the road?

Because I put the wrong socks on this morning.

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14. What is the difference between ooooooh and aaaaaaah?

About three inches.

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15. What did one tampon say to the other?

Nothing. They are both stuck-up c*nts.

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16. What is the difference between a prostitute and a 7-year-old?

You don’t know? You sick weirdo.

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17. Why do male squirrels swim on their back?

To keep their nuts dry.

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18. What is the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer?

The taste!

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19. What did the elephant say to the naked man?

How do you breathe through that little thing?

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20. Do you know why a witch never wears panties?

More grip on the broom.

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