The person in today’s story felt it was a no-brainer to support their sister by providing her with a place to stay, financial assistance, and unending emotional support without expecting anything in return. However, everything changed when disappointment entered the picture.
Here’s what happened.
My sister has been living with us for the past four years, on and off, paying bills when she can’t afford them. I ask if she helps around the house—I’ve been paying her phone bill for the past two years, and I’m also the only one who puts money toward groceries.
She hasn’t paid any bills in several months (claiming she’s worried about herself, not that she can’t afford it), but now she refuses to help around the house when I ask for simple tasks like “When you’re home, can you let my dogs out once or twice when I’m not,” and “Can you take the trash out when you see it’s full,” nothing too crazy.
Today, I went to check on my dogs with my pet camera and overheard her calling me a number of terrible names while on the phone with someone. It severely wounded my sentiments because, since she was 18, I’ve been the only family member willing to aid her—our mother didn’t want her once she became 18.
I lost my passion and told her I’d worked so hard to ensure she had a roof over her head, even providing her one of our cars so she could drive—to which she answered, “You’ve never taken care of me; I’ve been the only one taking care of myself.” In the heat of the moment, I urged her to pack her belongings and leave my house because I don’t do anything for her, and then she could figure out life without me. Now I think I might be the bad guy.
People stood on her side.
People 1: “Your sister is 22 years old, and she needs to grow up sometime. She’s been freeloading off you for four years. She can’t live her life like a perpetual teenager forever.
It’s time for her to put whatever life skills she has to the test, or she should learn some quickly, especially if she thinks to disparage someone who has provided for her for four years. Actions have consequences.” Peony-Pony / Reddit
People 2: “A lot of people are suggesting you kick her out, which I agree with. Just make sure to check on your local laws, in some places, if a person has been living someplace for long enough, whether or not they have a lease or are paying, they have tenant rights.
And she sounds like the kind of person that would be happy to turn around and sue you if you kick her out without making sure everything is being done according to the laws in your area.” Wraithowl / Reddit
People 3: “If you feel bad about how it happened, then maybe it’s time for a sit-down. A heart-to-heart about how you are frustrated with her lack of action and assistance, that maybe you were harsh in the conversation, but it’s time for her to stand on her own two feet before it ruins your relationship. Point out she moved in at 18 — she’s had 4 years of not making progress, etc.
What did she think would happen? Stay with you indefinitely? Give her a deadline to move out, take over her own phone bill, etc.” CornerSevere / Reddit
People 4: “The fact that she doesn’t seem to see your kindness and help towards her means she’s taking you for granted, secondly she’s not making any progress and completely dependent on you. It’s better for you to kick her out.” random8104 / Reddit
People 5: “PLEASE stop being a doormat for your entitled sister. Kick her out and don’t look back, however, in a week or so she’ll message you BEGGING to come back and talk about how she’ll change. Don’t believe a word of it.” H***WHITEBOI25 / Reddit
People 6: “If you don’t make her grow up and take responsibility for herself… she never will. She is living with you for free — eating food for free — driving a car for free….and yet she’s acting to friends as if you do nothing for her? She’s 22 now? And demanding you take care of and support her?
Oh no, you need to cut the cord now for your own good — and for hers.” omeomi24 / Reddit
Finally, the decision to urge their sister to leave was motivated by necessity rather than anger. After years of giving without receiving, they recognized they couldn’t keep sacrificing their own well-being for someone who refused to change. Though it was a difficult decision, it signaled the start of a new chapter—one in which they could finally focus on their own needs and live with serenity and self-esteem.
