I Was Shocked My Husband Let His Friend Call Me “Troll” and “Ugly”

A woman began her story with admitting her insecurities.

A woman, 28, made a heart-wrenching post in one of the Reddit communities. She went under the nickname “uglywoman”, which already gave people a hint that she’s very much concerned about her looks. She began her story, saying that she considers herself an unattractive woman. She admitted that she’s always been this way, and she has already accustomed herself to this belief about her appearance. She confessed that she’s had a tough life because of her insecurities, and it has never been easy for her to live a normal and full life.

The woman met her husband four years ago. She is obviously in love with this man, as she speaks of him as “the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” She wrote that her husband has always and frequently told her she’s beautiful, and somehow sounded honest, without sounding like the woman’s own mom. She didn’t feel like her husband was paying her compliments, just like someone without another option to answer.

The woman’s life turned upside down on an ordinary Saturday evening.

The woman continues her story, saying that one day, she experienced not the best feelings of all. There was an ordinary Saturday, and her husband decided to invite a group of friends over to their home. They used to meet several times a month to hang out, catch up and play games. Her husband has known most of these guys since high school.

The woman wrote that at the time of their meeting she was upstairs in the kitchen preparing snacks. She was able to hear them in the basement and began to eavesdrop, which she admitted was rude, but it wasn’t really intentional. She then realized they were talking about her. What is worse, a couple of guys were teasing her husband about her, specifically about her looks. The woman writes, without even trying to hide her pain, “I could tell it was supposed to be funny. It was not.”

Her husband’s reaction was totally not what she had expected.

The woman goes on with her story, revealing that there was a point where one of her husband’s friends referred to her as a “troll” and her husband blew up. He started shouting: “Listen, I know that my wife is ugly, but shut up. She makes me happy. Does your bimbo of the week do that, Jim? Dave, how long has it been since we’ve hung out, and you haven’t complained about your wife?”

The man went on for a while, “defending” his wife. But all she could hear was “I know she’s ugly, I know she’s ugly, I know she’s ugly” again and again in her head. It just broke her. The woman writes, “I’ve always known I’m unattractive, but HE isn’t supposed, too! He tells me I’m beautiful so sincerely, and consistently, I’d started to actually believe he thought that.”

“I started to cry and ran into a shower so no one could hear me. When I came out and hour later everyone had gone home, far earlier than normal. I went to bed and then haven’t spoken to him all day today, but I think I’ve been able to avoid letting him know I’m upset, or avoiding him,” she shared.

People in comments supported the woman, but some had another point of view.

Even though many people showed support and understanding for women, there were also some who had a different and valid opinion.

Seriously. I know hearing this must have hurt, but a lot of women would kill for a guy that stood up for them like this. It actually sounds like your husband puts the correct amount of emphasis on looks, and you are focusing too much on them. You’ve got a keeper on your hands. © Phantoom / Reddit
Just because your husband may objectively perceive that you are “ugly” that does not mean he is not attracted to you. I think that what your husband really meant was: “I know that [my wife] is ugly according to social convention, but to me, she is a beautiful person, a loving and sexy woman, and I find her as attractive as someone with slightly more even features, or longer legs, or whatever”. He didn’t say all that because he lost his cool, and because it’s hard to articulate it. But he loves you. That’s what you need to focus on. © istara / Reddit
Your husband shouldn’t have said what he said, but it sounds to me like he didn’t really mean it that way. It sounds like he doesn’t think you are ugly, he just knows that, objectively, you are not conventionally good-looking. That does not mean you aren’t attractive, sexy, and beautiful to him. He’s not a liar. He’s a loving husband that truly thinks you are beautiful. Tell him you heard him and talk to him about it. He’ll probably reiterate everything that has been said here. © TheKenluckian / Reddit

Marriage and relationships can be complicated, and it’s important for couples to have discussions before tying the knot. Deciding on their own way of navigating marriage through open communication is key to a successful relationship.