Love and Relationships

I Refused to See My Mother-in-Law After Postpartum Fat-Shaming

Was my decision to leave the family party too hasty after receiving my mother-in-law’s ‘gift’?

I (28F) have been married to my husband Noah (30M) for three years. We’ve always had a decent relationship with his parents, especially his mom, Diane (55F). However, things have taken a turn since I gave birth to twins six months ago.

Ever since the babies were born, my MIL has been commenting on my post-pregnancy weight. At first, it was subtle hints like, “Oh, those pregnancy pounds can be stubborn!” or “Have you tried that new diet everyone’s talking about?” I tried to brush it off, thinking she was just concerned about my health.

At a recent family party at Diane and FIL’s house to celebrate Noah’s sister Olivia’s engagement, everything seemed fine until gift-giving time. She handed me with a wrapped box, smiling widely. “I got something special for you, dear,” she said, loud enough for nearby guests to hear.

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My heart sank as I opened it. Inside: a weight loss kit complete with diet pills, a “get fit quick” DVD, and a card that read, “Time to get your pre-baby body back!” My cheeks burned as guests watched. I said, voice trembling, “How could you think this was appropriate?”

The room fell silent. Noah, who had been chatting with his cousins, rushed over. “Mom, what’s going on?” he asked, looking confused.

Diane had the audacity to laugh, “Oh, honey, I’m just trying to help! You know how hard it can be to lose that baby weight.”

I was furious, “I’ve just given birth to twins!

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My body has been through enough without you shaming me in front of everyone!”

Noah tried to calm me down, but I was too upset. I grabbed my purse and stormed out, leaving the twins with Noah. As I left, I heard Diane say, “Well, I guess hormones are still an issue too.”

I drove home in tears. Noah called me repeatedly, but I ignored his calls. When he finally got home with the twins, he was angry. “You embarrassed my mom and ruined Olivia’s engagement party,” he said. “It was just a misguided gift. You didn’t have to make such a scene.”

I couldn’t believe he was taking her side. We got into a huge argument, and he ended up sleeping on the couch. The next day, Diane called and left a voicemail saying I was being “oversensitive” and that she was “just trying to help.”

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Now, Noah’s family is divided. Some think I overreacted, while others are appalled by Diane’s behavior.

Noah wants me to apologize to keep the peace, but I feel like I’m the one who deserves an apology.

Did I react poorly? Would it have been wiser to graciously accept the ‘gift’ to maintain harmony? I’m starting to doubt myself, but I also feel like a line was crossed.

Source: Bright Side

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