On his first day, he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection.
The woman notices his erection and comes over to him grinning sweetly and says, “Sir, did you call for me?”
Barnaby replies, “No, what do you mean?”
She says, “You must be new here; let me explain. It’s a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me.”
Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him toward her, and happily lets him have his way with her.
Barnaby continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down and farts.
Within a few seconds, a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steam toward him.
The huge man says, “Sir, did you call for me?”
Barnaby replies, “No, what do you mean?”
“You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me.” The huge man easily spins Eli around and has his way with him.
Barnaby rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smiling naked receptionist: “May I help you?”
Barnaby says, “Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 enrollment fee.”
The receptionist says, “But sir, you’ve only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities…”
Barnaby replies, “Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a erection once a year but I fart 30 times a day. No thanks.”
