1. They will try to make you stay by making you feel guilty.
A narcissist makes you feel guilty for breaking up with them. They’ll say you hurt them and were unkind. You feel like the worst person in the world. They say you’ve been wrong about them and you should change your mind.
People often try again in their relationships. They don’t always love their partner, but they want to prove they’re not awful. They might keep you engaged by guilt until they get tired and end it.
2. They’ll blame you.
When two people break up, it’s usually because they made mistakes. A narcissist will never accept blame and will blame their partner for breaking up with them. They might say you didn’t appreciate all they did for you. They’ll turn on you.
They’ll insult you to hurt you. Even if you try to help them, they won’t listen. They might make you think it was your fault and that you should give the relationship another chance. But this effort will probably fail because the negative aspects will come back.
3. They’ll promise to change.
If their manipulation doesn’t work, a narcissist will seem to have learned their lesson. They’ll seem different in front of you and promise to change. They say they’ll get help and do what you say to make you happy. Sometimes the other person will believe them and accept them back.
But they’ll soon revert to their old ways. Once they know you trust them again, they’ll try to control you. They’ll try it again when you break up.
4. They will demand your attention in any way they can.
They want to be at your attention so much that they’ll bump into you. They might also pass by your house or the bar you go to with friends. They might even fake being sick to get you worried.
Other worrisome behaviors are drunk calls or breaking into your home. They need to feel seen, heard, and acknowledged by their ex.
5. They’ll shame you in public and spread rumors.
They’ll stop at nothing to make you look bad in front of your loved ones and strangers. They might shame you in front of friends or family to break you. To their friends, they say you’re the bad guy.
They don’t care how much they hurt you, as long as you suffer. They might even make up stories to make you look bad. They can post anything on social media to damage your reputation.
6. They can be brutal and unsympathetic.
If they break up with you, it might seem unexpected because they were loving and seemed to care until just yesterday. They don’t care about how hurt you are. They’ll say more hurtful things to get you off their back.
This breakup is not your fault. They played with your feelings until they felt ready to conquer someone else’s love. If they come back, it’s not because they love you, but because they want something from you.
7. They’ll break down emotionally.
In most relationships, people go through hard times and their partner is there for them. Be ready to hear how much they supported you. You’re hurting them by being inconsiderate. They’ll probably cry and get upset.
They might ask to come by and get their things and then break down in front of you. It’s better to arrange for someone else to give them their things. Don’t meet with them if you think they’ll be abusive or manipulative.
8. They will focus on your drawbacks.
If you tell a narcissist you want to break up, they’ll probably bring up the time you called them for help. They want to show you how much you need them and how hard your life will be without them. They’ll say you need them to function.
If you’re not confident, this plan can work. Narcissists can see your weaknesses and use them against you. Things you never noticed will be brought up now that you don’t want them around.
9. They will employ the “silent treatment”.
This is a tactic often used to manipulate and control the other person, while also denying them the closure and validation they might seek. By remaining silent and unresponsive, the narcissist is able to exercise power over the other person, even after the relationship has ended.
10. They will move to a new relationship quickly after a breakup.
This can be driven by their need for validation, attention, and control. They may seek out a new partner who they perceive as more attractive, successful, or high-status, as a way to reaffirm their own sense of worth and superiority. Or, they may simply want to replace the previous relationship as quickly as possible in order to avoid the discomfort and vulnerability of being alone.
Remember that narcissists often view relationships as a means to an end, rather than as a meaningful connection with another person.
As you navigate the rocky road post-breakup, humor can be a great companion. Stay tuned for our next article filled with 12+ hilarious tweets that perfectly capture the shared struggles of moving on.
