How long should parents keep footing the bill for their kids? Is there really a right moment to cut the cord? It’s a tricky question, one that many parents quietly wrestle with.
Take Matthew, the author of today’s story: one day, he simply decided to stop supporting his sons financially and leave them to fend for themselves. But what happened next was something he never saw coming.
Here’s his story:
My name is Matthew, and I’m writing about something that has left me torn as a parent. When my kids grew up and reached adulthood, I thought I’d finally be able to step back and watch them stand on their own feet. But that never happened.
It started with tuition, then rent, then a constant stream of other expenses. Every time I thought they might become more independent, another request for money came along. I love my children, but over time it began to feel less like support and more like dependence—like I was no longer a father, but an endless ATM.
The breaking point came on my son’s birthday. Instead of gratitude for what I had already done, he asked me for a car. That was the moment something inside me snapped.
I told him, “I’m sick of being your free ATM. Stop relying on me.”
I expected anger. I expected disappointment. But I never expected his response. My son stared at me and said, “You’ll regret it.”
Those words stayed with me all night. The next morning, I went to check on him. His room was empty. When I opened his closet, it hit me harder than I can explain—all his clothes were gone. He had packed up and left without a word.
Now I find myself sitting in the quiet, torn between two truths. On one hand, I know children need to learn responsibility. I know enabling dependence only delays growth. But on the other hand, this is my son. I can’t stop wondering if I went too far, if my words were harsher than I intended. Did I push him away instead of guiding him?
Every parent wants their child to succeed, but also to stay close. And right now, I don’t know where my son is, or how he feels about me. The silence between us is louder than any argument.
Was I wrong to take a stand? Or was it the tough love he needed? More than anything, I just want to find a way to fix this before the distance between us becomes permanent.