I’m a full-time chef with two stepkids, ages 12 and 14. I spend more than ten hours a day on my feet — chopping, sautéing, plating, and running between ovens. By the time I get home, all I want is peace and a moment to breathe, not to start another shift in my own kitchen.
When I first moved in, I didn’t mind helping out with meals when the kids visited. I actually enjoyed cooking something special for them — lasagna, homemade burgers, little desserts. But over time, it stopped being a choice and became an expectation. No one asked anymore; they just assumed I’d cook every meal.
Then my husband’s ex-wife started getting involved. She demanded that I cook for the kids every single day, saying, “You’re a chef. It’s your job.” That was the moment I realized they saw me as free labor, not family.
One evening, she cornered me outside the house, criticizing me for not making dinner. I was drained and finally snapped: “I’m not your maid. I’m exhausted.”
She looked at me coldly and said, “Then you’re not a real stepmom.”
And my husband? He just stood there, silent. That silence said more than words ever could.
Later, I found out he’d been secretly giving the kids the meals I made for myself — my leftovers, even the dishes I’d set aside for lunch. When I confronted him, he shrugged and said, “I didn’t want any conflict.”
Now his ex is telling everyone I “refused to feed her kids,” and my in-laws have turned frosty. My husband still won’t speak up for me.
So I keep asking myself — am I a bad stepmom for refusing to cook every day, or just someone tired of being taken for granted?
Source: nowiveseeneverything.club